It can be so easy to get angry at our children. Our children have an ability to raise something up in us so quickly, that at times our anger can surprise us. If we are not careful our anger can be a barrier to us lovingly raising our children. Our anger can easily result in hurt, broken relationships, and long lasting scars. Below are a few thoughts that I hope will help you the next time anger starts to rears it’s ugly head.
Anger is a choice. If you believe and act like your anger is not something that you can control, you are right. That’s a self fulfilling prophecy. But, if you believe that you can grow and improve your response to your child’s attitudes and behaviors, then you have laid a foundation to change. No one can make you angry without your permission. So the next time your child is on your last nerve and you feel the flood of emotions coming on strong, remember you don’t have to become angry.
Don’t punish in anger. Many times our angry response to our children is used to get their attention and sometimes can lead into a punishment. Don’t punish in anger. You might need to send your child to their room and let them know that you will talk about it later. You might need to count to ten and take a deep breath. Even though immediate consequences can be very effective, it is far better to press the pause button then react in anger.
Connect before you correct. Now that your anger is under control you can have a conversation with your child and apply the appropriate consequence. The idea here is to build the relationship. Remember, you want to shape the heart of your child not just modify their behavior. This shaping of the heart can only be done through a trusting, warm relationship.
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